Where I Want To Be... Chapter 3

Cassy's POV

I wake the next morning to my phone buzzing against my face. I fell asleep again with it close to me. That has been a new habit of mine. Ever since that awful night a few months ago. I open my eyes and pick up my phone and see a new text message. Its from Dom.

Up for the beach?

I smile and begin to text back when my mom enters my room.

"Good morning, honey. Here is some of your laundry." She puts a stack of clean, folded clothes on the foot of my bed. I smile up at her tiredly. She always does my laundry and I can't thank her enough. I can be usually very lazy and my room is pretty messy most of the time. I just dont like doing housework and cleaning and stuff.

"Thanks mom. You're the best."

She smiles at me, "So what are you up to today?"

I glance at my phone and remember, "Oh, I am going to the beach today with the band. We've been planning on going for sometime now. Have a break and just relax for once."

She sits down next to me and looks at me hard with the same eyes I have.

"That sounds great. You guys have been working really hard." She pauses while keeping her eyes glued to mine. "Have you been crying?"

I look away quickly. I had tried to avoid this. I dont want her to know I've still been crying.

"No, why do you say that?"

"You'r eyes are a little puffy and red." She puts a hand through my hair. I look away and sigh, "Mom, I just woke up, I am still tired that's all. We had a late show last night and then went to IHOP afterwards. Its been a long night."

She smiles at me and gets up to leave, "Okay then honey. Breakfast is downstairs."

I thank her and get to my phone to text Dom about when we are leaving for the beach and with who. Now it's the time for my daily routine of getting ready. Some people may call me a narcissist, but I dont think so. I dont necessarily love myself, I just love to put makeup on and style my hair. It's a passion of mine and being in front of the mirror for about an hour and a half in the morning is just who I am.

I go into my bathroom which is my own, connected to my bedroom. I love having my own bathroom, one of the luxuries of living with my parents. I turn on the shower and step under the warm, relaxing water. I let the stresses from yesterday wash away and can't help but tear up. What is with me? That stupid night happened months ago. Why am I getting emotional all of a sudden just because of The Who playing on the radio? I try to just let the worries go and grab my Bed Head Moisture Maniac Shampoo and lather my hair. I just love the smell of the stuff. Ten minutes later I am finished with my shower and drying my hair. I straighten it up a bit and start to tease it all poofy with my strong hair spray. I use so much hair spray. Toby said its really bad for the environment, but Toby smokes and drives a car and thats bad for the environment too right? Now fifteen minutes later I am applying my make up and brushing my teeth. After applying my glittery mascara, I head to my closet and put on my favorite tight blank pants and my Paramore tank top. I know, why am I wearing pants to the beach? I am just 'traveling' in them. I will change over there. Finally my phone buzzes. Its been awhile. I took a shower, and got ready and now Dom replies? I head over to my bed and pick up my phone.

Jerry is taking us. Meet at his house at around 11. Is that okay?

Jerry is taking us? He always takes us. Can't someone else ever volunteer to drive? Well, I guess he has all the money to do it. Gas prices doesn't matter to him at all and probably never will. I envy that about him. I mean, he was born into money. Sometimes I wonder why he even cares to be in the band with us. Like why isn't he just doing his own thing? Maybe he isn't as greedy as I imagine him to be.

I go downstairs and grab a bagel from the freezer and put it in the toaster. As I wait for it to toast, which takes forever, I make myself a fruit smoothie and start cutting up some fruit. I am going to enjoy today and not let my past get in the way. I hope.

Ten minutes later I am outside Jerry's neighborhood's gate. I roll down my window to tell the gate guard where I am going. He seems new; I've never seen him before.

"ID please." He bluntly says, without any emotion. Kinda reminds me of Kiley. I hand over my ID to him and smile.

"I am a friend of Jeremiah Armstrong. I am going over to visit." He eyes me suspiciously.

"Of course you are. Let me call Mr. Armstrong, just to be sure."

I roll my eyes. Jeez! I mean come on! I am not a stupid fan trying to stalk him and catch him in his underwear! I come through these gates often enough to be somewhat recognizable. The guard goes back into his booth and calls the Armstrongs. In the meantime, I get a text from Jerry asking where the hell I am. Argh! So annoying! I dont bother texting back because he will find out any second now since the stupid guard is calling him.

The guard comes out and lets me go past the gate. I give him a fake smile and drive forward. Jerry's neighborhood is very upscale. I mean a bunch of celebs live here and multi-milllionaires. All the lawns are beautifully manicured with nicely shaped bushes and trees, flower beds in every shades disperesed everywhere. The roads aren't even the regular black asphalt. They are nicely rowed redish bricks. I drive on and turn onto Jerry's street.

You can't see much of any of the houses because tall brick walls and bushes cover the properties. It's so well protected here for all the 'special' people. I stop before the cast iron gate in front of Jerry's property and roll down my window to press the call button. I wave to the video camera suspended above the gate as I hear Jerry's voice through the speakers.

"Yo Cassy! Waz up? Sorry about the guard. I keep telling him to just let people who are on my 'okay list' through after the ID check, but he just wants to be sure you are not some alien in disguise or something."

"Oh thank you Jerry, because I look so much like an alien." I wave him off and roll my eyes.

"No, no, I said, 'in disguise'!"

"Are you gonna let me in or not?" It comes out a little harsh, but I'm dying in the heat here with my window down.

The gate opens. "See ya in a sec." I move my car up his drive and park in front of his house next to everyone else's cars. Great, everyone is already here. I am always fucking late. I know how much they love that.

I get out of the car and go up the stone steps to his huge front door. Anytime I am up at his door, I feel like a midget, because it is just so huge! I ring his doorbell and his mother opens it. She is in her usual rocker attire and her hair is up in a messy bun. I think she is just gorgeous, no wonder Jerry has his looks. I mean, imagine having Adrienne Nasser for a mom and not to mention Billie Joe Armstrong for a dad! She smiles at me and just as she is going to give me a hug, their little pomeranian, Killer, runs out of the house.

"Killer! Get back here!" She yells in a mid-hug. "Killer!" She runs past me into the blazing sun. I can't help but start to laugh. There dog is a small, white fuzz ball, named Killer. I mean, wouldn't you laugh? Seeing it yelp its little fuzzy butt off? I walk myself inside and let the chill of the AC hit my face as all the aromas of an expensive home wharf through my nose. Is that Chanel perfume I smell? I start heading to the stairs to Jerry's room but stop when I overhear a small arguement. It's coming from the kitchen. I am familiar enough with Jerry's house, so even though I know its not good to eavesdrop, I can't help but make my way over to the kitchen.

As I get closer, I recognize the voices as Jerry's and his father's. I peek from behind the entryway to the kitchen from the dining room and see both of them at the center island. Jerry is sitting on one of the bar stools with his head in his hands, elbows on the island, looking pissed off. His father is across from him, standing with his hands on his hips, the curves in his face matching those of his sons.

"You need to take all of this much more seriously." He pauses because Jerry is lolling his head all around his neck in ignorance. "Jerry! Are you even listening to a word I am saying?"

Jerry sighs and faces his father, "Yes, dad, I'm listening. I'm sitting here, aren't I?" Billie rolls his eyes and puts his hands in his pockets in frustration. I see his lips tense as he grits his teeth.

"That doesn't mean that you are listening! Now either you take better care of your diabetes or you will have an on call nurse with you at all times, and I know how embarrasing that would be." I hear a laugh and a whispered comment from Jerry before his dad continues with, "An older nurse. Like old as in your grandma's age."

Jerry whips his hands around at his father with a look of bewildermint. "Dad! Hellz no! No fucking way!"

"Don't you dare talk to me that way, I'm your father!" His dad whips a finger out and points at Jerry before calming back down. "Is your pump even on?" I can see that it isn't. "Show me."

"It's not on." Jerry's voice is barely audible and he looks away uncomfortably.

"Oh, what's that, it's not on?"

"Dad, please, I don't want to hear this right now!" Jerry bangs his hands in fists on the countertop and gets up.

"You get your ass back in that chair right now!" For some reason Jerry obliges and sits back down. "You're a fucking mess right now! And when's the last time you tested, hmm? I bet your levels are off the charts in one direction or another, especially since you're giving me this attitude."

"When I woke up two hours ago it was 130. I'm fine dad, you don't need to worry about me so much. I've been doing this since forever, in case you haven't been around to witness it."

"I just don't want anything to happen to you. You're setting an example for your younger brothers. They look up to you and if they see you sick, they are going to be very worried."

Jerry rolls his eyes and gets off the stool. "Okay, okay, I'll keep a closer eye on things. Will that keep you off my back?"

"You keep your pump on you at all times unless you are swimming or bathing, you understand? And test yourself, please. You tend to go really low and then you-"

"Go really high, I know dad. It's my body. I'm aware of how it works."

"Just please, pay attention to what's going on."

"I'm fine dad! Besides, Kiley is practically my nurse anyways!" Billie follows Jerry as he gets off his stool and starts heading my way.

"Kiley shouldn't have that responsibility! She is a young girl and she is a good friend. I am sure that she wishes you would take better care of yourself so she can enjoy your company in a more normal way. Also your mother mentioned to me that you came home pretty drunk last night. Care to explain that one for me?"

Jerry gets all wide-eyed and looks a little insulted. "I was not drunk! I swear! I went to IHOP with the band after the show and then came home. That's all! I promise!"

Billie doesn't seem to buy it and I start to panic as they make their way over to me. I decide my best bet is to hide behind the bar counter. I leap over there and squat down. It would suck to be caught in that awkward situation.

"Look, dad, I can take care of myself. Just please, can you get off my back now? Everyone is waiting to go the beach and I think Cassy just got here."

The two of them head to the front door and I realize its my chance to go through the kitchen and meet them there.

I get there just in time and try and make it look like I really just arrived. Adrienne, Jerry's mom, comes in holding Killer in her arms, looking flustered. Her messy bun from earlier, is now a very messy bun and her face is a little red. She closes the door and puts Killer down. He scurries off, the sound of his tiny nails on the marble floor echoing down the hall.

Jerry and Billie appear and I smile at Jerry when he sees me. He smiles slightly and puts his hand on my shoulder to lead me up the stairs. Billie and Adrienne start talking and I smile down at them as we make our way up the stairs. They dont look too happy.

I follow Jerry down the upstairs hallway towards his bedroom at the end of the hall. I really like that, to get to his room, you have to go up like five extra stairs. When we walk in Toby is sitting at Jerry's computer desk typing away on the Mac, Dom is out on his balcony smoking, and Kiley is sitting on his bed just staring at the floor. I wonder whats up with her? She is always looking so angry all of the time!

Jerry heads over to his bed and plops down next to Kiley. Kiley slightly flinches when he does this and she scoots away from him. Weird.

"Hey guys, sorry I am late. I have a good reason though! The stupid guard wouldn't let me through." I try to look as innocent as I can, but the guys don't really seem to buy it or care. No one comments on my little excuse. Whatever. The only legit movement in the room is Jerry as he gets up from the bed and starts putting things together for our trip. That's when I wonder: Shouldn't he have done that earlier?

"Alright, let's go. Everyone ready?" Jerry stuffs things into a gym bag as he asks the group. He grabs a dark blue beach towel and his black trunks from the towel rack on the door of his bathroom. He disappears inside and comes back out with his insulin pump in his hand, the wire hanging and swinging around beside him as he moves.

"We've been ready to go for like an hour now." Toby scoffs at the computer before he closes it. Jerry clips his pump on and starts pressing buttons. I look away because I don't want him to think I'm staring.

Jerry sighs, "Geez guys, come on, it's not like we are in any sort of hurry." Dom puts out his cigarette and Kiley gets up from the bed to grab her bag. "Anyone got sunscreen? I can't find mine." Jerry asks as he goes through his gym bag.

"I've got some." Kiley replies in monotone.

Jerry smiles back at her. "Thanks Kiles, you always got my back." Kiley's face remains blank. I know she is usually cranky and all, but this is like uncharacteristicly cranky. I wish I could ask her what's wrong, but we never really got along much to begin with so I know that asking her will just make matters worse.

The bunch of us head towards the Armstrong's black Escalade and pile in, Toby, of course, calling 'shotgun' the moment Jerry hits the automatic starter. The Escalade is just one of many of the Armstrong's cars. Jerry rambles off their names and owners as we pile in, since his mother just got a new car or something and Dom keeps commenting on it. Jerry himself has a silver Mercedes Mclaren Mini SLR and his sister Ashley has a pink TT Coupe Audi. Billie Joe usually drives his classic blue 67 Ford Fairlane, and Adrienne has a new white BMW M6 Convertable. This SUV is usually reserved for their all too common trips to the airport, etc.

"Can we go." Kiley muses from the back seat. She's still in her mood. Well, her unusually cranky mood.

"We just need to make one stop before we hit paradise." Jerry yells excitedly as he turns up the music and rushes through the open gates. "Walmart!"

And we're off, speeding through this dream-like chunk of mansions, Jerry at the wheel and the bunch of us bouncing around in the back. I can't wait to just sit in the sun and enjoy my day. If only.